Still wondering...

I haven't pursued this blog because I realized that there is no real concept behind it. Is it a blog about homeschooling? Or do I want to write about my micro-mini suburban homestead? Sewing, granddaughters, teaching English, reading, all of these are vital to my life and occupy my thoughts. How do I incorporate all of those into one cohesive blog? Or should I choose one or two aspects only to focus a blog around?

Until I can come on board with a real idea for a blog with a clear focus I will probably be ignoring this blog. I hope to come up with a new blog soon that will be a reflection of who I am today and will be both an interesting place to visit and a good place in which to write.

Microfarm

Earlier this morning I went out to do my "farm chores." It is ridiculous how much I enjoy taking care of my 4 chickens each day and accomplishing other outdoor jobs. Each morning I take some kitchen scraps to the chickens, give them clean water and check on their food supply. Then I fill food bowls for the dog and cat and drop off the remaining kitchen scraps in our new compost bucket. Soon I hope to get some seeds and starts in the ground in our square foot garden boxes.

This morning while I was out there I noticed two sparrows squabbling in the oak sapling near the chicken coop. They were either mating or fighting for territory directly above my head. It was quite a show and even though I am not thrilled with non-natives making themselves at home in our yard, I enjoyed their presence. I love seeing the natural world function as it was intended, while I go about my day. I think I am in charge of ordering my days, but the orderliness of wild animals routinely acting out their roles in nature without my help or interference, reminds me that I'm not really in charge.

I am in charge of my tiny suburban "microhomestead" though, as much as anyone can be. To be surrounded by sparrows, chickens, oak and birch trees, and empty boxes waiting to be filled with growing food, fills me with pleasure. The projects we have started, such as composting, raising chickens for eggs and planting fruit trees, gives me a sense of order as well as a wonderful anticipation of the future production we expect from this yard. I am delighted that I still have a small yard where we can try growing our own food and compost. With a yard at our disposal we can still take advantage of natural sun and wind to dry our clothes. At this moment, that is way more than enough.

The Scent of A Dinner

Mmm...roast chicken in the oven, slathered with crushed garlic, pepper, salt and a dusting of Italian seasoning. Tucked inside are chunks of fresh onion and fennel bulbs are nestled up next to the wings. I hope this bird is as succulent and tempting as it smells right now. Some brown rice pilaf or fluffy biscuits, along with some tender steamed asparagus, will complete the meal. To my husband, if you are reading this, it's all for you, babe.

Abundance

I'm listening to "Worthy is the Lamb" from Handel's Messiah. It's lovely to listen to this and nothing else. The house is still because everyone else is off slaying dragons today. Oldest son is working, middle and youngest sons are attending Bible class and Dad is teaching. Today is one of Dad's unpaid days off from work so he's free to correct math papers at school before he teaches class; then the afternoon is at his disposal.

Thinking about these free days that my husband suddenly has, I asked him last night if he feels laid off when he has to spend an unpaid day away from work. His response was a typical, "I don't know." That response tells me that he hasn't thought about it much, and instead he's putting one foot in front of the other until there's a clear change in plans. That is also typical of him. He gets things done and he doesn't spend too much time trying to figure out his emotions. Hmm...I might try that one of these days.

Whenever I think about how much more emotional I am than my husband, and how much time I spend analyzing my feelings, I remember Shelly Long in the long running t.v. show Cheers. She tried to justify her obsessive analysis of emotions by telling her boyfriend Sam that "the unexamined life was not worth living." Since she played a literate, pretentiously erudite woman, her application of this quote to her somewhat hapless life is hysterical and reminds me not to take every darn thing about myself so seriously.

Serious or silly, anxious or complacent, we'll muddle through today and wait on God for the future. If it doesn't rain today we'll work on planter boxes this afternoon, and I'll make pizza for lunch. Most of all, we'll try to remember that abundance is not just found in material things.

This is what I see

It is amazing to watch my daughter, so young herself, parent her own small brood. She is filled with grace, wisdom and patience most of the time. She has compassion for her children and often puts aside her own needs to minister to the needs of her family. She is 21 and she has a husband, a toddler, and a newborn. She is training to be a La Leche League peer counselor. She has endured two pregnancies with hyperemisis gravidarum.

In contrast to my daughter's life, other young people choose to live together without marriage because they are too young to make that kind of commitment. Or they choose to end a pregnancy because they don't believe they are responsible enough to care for another human being.

I would compare my daughter's depth of commitment to those strong young men and women who enter the military and put their lives on the line to serve others or to those who go on missions trips or decide to become career missionaries.

Are young adults, 18-24 years old, for instance, just too young to handle such mature commitments? Is it wrong to allow them to jump into life's biggest challenges at a young age? Should we bless their decisions or beg them to stay children for a bit longer? Should we "punish" with a baby girls who become pregnant outside of marriage?

I believe many young people are ready to step into full adult roles at an early age. I see the evidence in the family which my daughter is founding with her young husband. She was not punished with an unwanted pregnancy-she and her husband chose to marry and then chose to begin having children. If she can do this, what else can young people do that we are often afraid to let them try?

Don't mistake me, though. My daughter has no idea of shrugging off her marriage if it gets too tough. She made a full, permanent commitment. The 18 year old who signs with the Army or the Marines has made just as deep a commitment to willingly lay down his or her life to defend the United States. In four years a soldier can move on, it's true, but during that time of service the commitment is complete and the possibility of losing ones life is as serious as the wedding vows.

Yes, I believe that some young people should be blessed for choosing to be career missionaries, getting married or joining the Army at an early age. Not all of them are ready, nor have all of them been prepared, but we should remember Paul's exhortation regarding Timothy, who advised his fellow Christ followers not to despise Timothy because of his youth. Let us not despise these wise and responsible men and women because of their youth. Let's love and encourage them instead.

New Grandchild

The new grandbaby has arrived and I am happy to announce that I now have two grandgirls. They are both delightful, clever, and curious and altogether lovable. I get to visit them again next week. I can't wait to snuggle up with them on the couch and read "I'll Teach My Dog 100 Words" repeatedly.

I didn't expect to have grandchildren so soon but I am enjoying every moment. They stir the heart more deeply than I imagined. It's quite a drive to see them, so I'll never get to spend as much time with them as I'd like, but the joy is that we always seem to pick up our relationship right where we left off when we're together. I can hardly wait to discover who Granddaughter #2 will turn out to be.

Wait, hope, watch, pray

I'm in front of a window which overlooks the ocean. I've been here on the north coast since
Tuesday, waiting out baby's arrival. My daughter has her "team" in place-Grandma to keep her 2 year old happy and safe, a friend to coach her labor and Daddy to hold her hand, rub her back and love her through labor and delivery. We're praying that today's the day. Since this little family lives a bit out of the way, it's not easy to reassemble the team at short notice. So if I do pick up any readers today who are inclined to pray, please remember us here as we wait to meet the our new family member.